October Surprise? More Like October Stupidity

It’s late October, we have only 13 more days before the election is over. Most of us are waiting around for the big October surprise that shakes up this election. It’s happened before, most notably in 2000 when reports of Bush’s DUI arrest when he was a kid were leaked four days before the election. The report cost Bush a 4 point lead in the polls and ultimately the popular vote. Most Republicans are waiting to see what the Chicago gang comes up with on Obama’s behalf. So far though the October surprises that are being rumored sound a lot more like October stupidity.

Gloria Allred is in Boston today trying unseal documents in the Thomas and Maureen Stemberg divorce proceedings from a decade ago. Mr. Stemberg is a friend of Mitt Romney’s and a Staples CEO. Romney apparently testified in a deposition as well as at trial. From all accounts this was a messy, years long divorce. However Romney didn’t testify about any of the mess. He allegedly only testified about the value of Staples stock. The divorce happened before Staples went public, Romney sat on the Staples board and had sufficient knowledge of the value of the stock. This is an October surprise? Romney’s attorney’s didn’t even oppose the motion, they don’t care if the dep or the trial testimony is public.

Not to be out done, Donald Trump claims he has information about Barack Obama. The rumor is that Trump has a copy of Michelle Obama’s divorce filing from a little more than a decade ago. Considering that the divorce complaint was withdrawn, there likely isn’t much there. From all accounts Mrs. Obama was outraged that her husband ran for Congress and lost. He spent a lot of money and allegedly created some personal debt. She got over it, he ran for Senate and now he’s the President. Unless the divorce complaint alleges that Barack committed adultery or that he beat his wife, getting hold of the divorce petition is rather pointless. Truth be told, most complaints for divorce don’t even allege a cause because we have no-fault divorce. There’s nothing here.

Trump claims the divorce petition isn’t what he has. He also claims that he’s not involved in the story being put out about Obama using and selling cocaine when he was in college. A supposed classmate of Obama’s is peddling this story, he even claims that he spoke with people in the Romney campaign. Unfortunately for him the Romney people weren’t interested in this sort of story. There are plenty of ways to attack Obama, he has a four year record as President after all. Romney’s campaign knows that he doesn’t need to alleged Obama was a cocaine dealer to win. We already know Obama was a drug user in high school and college. He admitted as such in his first book. If voters didn’t care in 2008, why would they care in 2012?

The October surprise has become a pathetic cliché. Voters don’t care that Romney testified about the value of stock in a divorce suit. Voters don’t care that Michelle Obama filed for divorce over a decade ago before withdrawing her petition. Voters don’t care that a seedy drug user claims the President sold cocaine in college. Voters care about the state of the economy, they care about the national debt and they care about other issues that matter. None of these “surprises” are relevant, none of them will sway a single voter. There is a surprise coming up that will sway voters though. The October unemployment report will be issued on November 2nd. That will be a November surprise, it will be relevant and it will likely determine the winner. The unemployment report matters, none of this other stuff does.